Tyson-Lewis Bout Replaced By Just Tyson Reading Poetry By A Roaring Fire
Bob Baffert Disassembled, Put Back Into Storage Until Next Derby
Ray Lewis Accidentally Confesses, Then Quickly Un-Confesses To Alleged Homicide
Jerry Jones Undergoes Anna Nicole Smith’s Ass-, Breast-, Lip–, Hair-, and Face-Implant Surgery
Coach’s Sweaters Caused Aneurysms
RAG READERS' POLL: Men's Tennis
WHERE ARE THEY NOW? James Miller
FANTASY SPORTS FOCUS: Poster in Online Forum Threatens To Cyber-Kick Other Poster’s Cyber-Ass
Issue #2
Man Wins Entire Baseball Player on eBay
Coaching Candidate Really, Really, Really Falsifies Resume
Joseph Kennedy Sr. Back From Dead, Will Buy Red Sox Title
Basketball Star Forgoes Final 14 Years Of Eligibility, Enters NBA Draft
Referee Fellated Duke Coach, Witness Reports
NBA Declares Moratorium on Rhyming "Yao" with "Wow!"
New Assistant Salary Cap Guru Wears Salary Cap Cap
WHERE ARE THEY NOW? Al Hrabosky
FANTASY SPORTS FOCUS: Fantasy Hockey Player Discovered
Issue #3
Barry Sanders Prank Calls Lions Again
Hurricanes Reach Cup Finals, Nearly Alert North Carolina of Existence
Figure Skating Would Accept Straight Skater
Youth Soccer Star Already Refers to Self in Third Person
Black Guy on Harvard Bench, White Guy on Georgetown Bench Mistakenly Switched at Birth
Cross Country Running Attracts Nerds, Extremely Popular Researcher Claims
Messiah Denies Involvement In Victory
Sports Radio Caller Has Head Up Ass
RAG READERS' POLL: Steroid Use
BONUS TOP TEN LIST: Baseball Injuries
FANTASY SPORTS FOCUS: Mock Draft Has Disturbing Lack Of Mocking
Issue #4
Mark Cuban Still Trying to Hang Out with Players
Clemens Intentionally Beans Own Son
Tyson to Fight on Celebrity Boxing
Mariucci, Owens Exchange Friendship Bracelets
Umpire Actually Does Need New Glasses
Tiger Woods’ Next Girlfriend Due Off Assembly Line
Big Soccer Tournament Still Being Played Somewhere, or Something
THIS DAY IN SPORTS HISTORY: July 2, 1928
Issue #5
Scientists Unveil First Williams DNA Clone
Jealous Frogs To Continue Armstrong Investigation
Athlete Has Absolutely No Idea Who This ‘Jesus’ Is
White Player Tries, Fails To Get Arrested
Relief Pitchers Clearly Not Into Bench-Clearing Brawl
Player Defecates in Laundry Hamper
Nascar Fan Attends Race, Showers
Leaf Retires, Will Be Remembered As Real Cock
RAG READERS' POLL: MLB All-Star Game Tie
BONUS TOP TEN LIST: WNBA Strike
FANTASY SPORTS FOCUS: Mother, sit-down
Issue #6
Detroit Lions Adopt New Battle Slogan
Dennis Miller’s Wife Wants Monday Nights Back
Palmeiro Teammates Claim Penis Moved In Shower
Nets Fans Actually Paid Extras, Sources Say
Garcia Readies For Tee Shot, Starves To Death
Boxer Simply Walks Up To Ring, Steps In
Fantasy Campers Narrowly Defeat Devil Rays Legends
White Sox to Rethink Shirtless, Jailhouse-Tattooed, Mulleted, Inbred Father-and-Son Night
RAG READERS' POLL: MLB On Strike
BONUS TOP TEN LIST: Why the U.S. Lost
FANTASY SPORTS FOCUS: The Editor's Draft
Issue #7
Lebron James' Brother to Study on Pay-Per-View
Coach Declines Game-Winning Touchdown, Opts for Overtime
"I'm Not Taking Booster Money," Armani-Clad Player Says
Man Suing to Join Women's Swim Team
Mitch "Wild Thing" Williams now Mitch "Lying in a La-Z-Boy Drinking Pabst Thing" Williams
Hockey Player Upset at Lack of Interest in Off-Ice Troubles
Game Stopped to Celebrate Another NFL Career Milestone
Leaf, Klingler Ask Akili Smith to Move In
RAG READERS' POLL: Women and Augusta National
BONUS TOP TEN LIST: What Yao Does To Cheer Up
BONUS, BONUS TOP TEN LIST: Athlete Interview Answers
FANTASY SPORTS FOCUS: Sweet December
Issue #8
ESPN Getting Tired of Walton Grateful Dead References
Contreras Is 31-Years-Old, Agent Says With Completely Straight Face
Bruce Jenner Still Has That Same Gay-Ass Haircut
High School Recruit Convinced Official Campus Hostess Actually Wants To Have Sex With Him
Stuart Scott Still Most Definitely Not White
Red Sox Deal Cy Young Winner For Pakistani Cab Driver
"For the Last Time I’m Not the ‘Jesus’ Kurt Warner," Curt Warner Says
RAG READERS' POLL: What do Rag Readers think of Mornhinweg’s dismissal?
RAG READERS' POLL: What do Rag Readers think of Jordan’s decision to finally retire?
BONUS TOP TEN LIST: Things Georgia Residents Do Instead of Attending Hawks Games
FANTASY SPORTS FOCUS: What I’d Love from Red Sox Fans This Valentine's Day
Issue #9
Zimmer to Red Sox: "I Like Captain Solo Right Where He Is."
NCAA Re-Names Tournament "The Final Five," Permanently Adds Duke
Timely Syracuse Basketball Sweatshirt Fails To Make Loser Cool
Epstein Proposes Orgasm-by-Committee, Girlfriend Reports
Krause Shocks World With Health Problems
New Diamondbacks’ Player Shocked to Learn Junior Spivey Is Black
NBA Expands Into Scherer Driveway
Satire Sports Page Has No Funny Saddam Hussein Sports Stories
Pau Gasol Really Tiring of Coach Calling Him "Paul"
RAG READERS' POLL: What do Sports Rag readers think of Puckett’s recent legal troubles?
TOP TEN LIST: What were the Top 10 Things Daryl Strawberry Learned While in Prison?
FANTASY SPORTS FOCUS: Random Tidbits
Issue #10
Li’l Penny Found Dead In Crack House
Basketball Player Tenderly Salutes Wife He Beat Shit Out Of
Gelding On Verge Of Triple Crown, Really Wants Balls Back
New Boss Forces MLS Office Pool Down New Employees' Throats
Carson Palmer Pre-Hired By Sonic Burger
Top Draft Pick Blames Illegal Steroids For Testing Positive For Illegal Steroids
Blue Oyster Cult Hanging Around Yankee Stadium For Song Royalties
Athlete Chooses Cradle 2 the Grave As Favorite All-Time Movie
Augusta National To Admit First Female Member
RAG READERS' POLL: What do Rag Readers think of Mike Price’s Sex with Stripper, Subsequent Firing?
TOP TEN LIST: Larry Eustachy’s Top 10 Frat Party Pickup Lines
FANTASY SPORTS FOCUS: The 2003 NFL Draft: Bad Commercials, Good Draft Picks, and Lots of Suzy Kolber
Issue #11
Lakers Continue Free Agent Blitz, Sign Jesus, Satan
Johnson Delays Return From DL To Keep Hanging With Jim Breuer
Arrington, Williams Have Frail, Un-Athletic White Baby
Man On Cellphone Behind Home Plate Savagely Beaten To Death
Tyson: "I Wish I Raped Everyone I've Ever Met In My Whole Life."
Richard Hidalgo Shocked To Learn Hidalgo Not Actually About Him
Grown Man Brings Own Baseball Glove To Game
Big East Still In Denial About Break Up With Miami
Man Asks How Lendl Is Playing At Wimbledon, Sounds Really Old
John Fogerty Still Thinks He Can Be Centerfield
Sosa Fires Attorneys, Hires Sommelier
TOP TEN LIST: Top 10 Things Overheard at the 2003 NBA Draft
Issue #12
Limbaugh: "Yao Only Tall Because He’s Polynesian."
Olbermann Still Thinks Leaving ESPN Was "Right Move"
Pacific Gas & Electric Taps Into Tom Arnold, Solves Brownout Problems
In Hindsight, Gigantic Little Leaguer Might Not Have Been 12-Years-Old
Playmakers to Add Precocious Little Scamp
Bin Laden Promises More Terror, Ironically Loves "America’s Team"
Grizzlies To Celebrate Throwback Night, Wear 9-Year-Old Uniforms
Cowher Denies Having Illegitimate, Gigantic-Jawed Son
Detroit Tigers Hire Fantasy Baseball Champ As New GM
Good Locker Room Guy Released to Make Room for Better Player
TOP TEN LIST: NHL Advertising Taglines for 2003-2004
FANTASY SPORTS FOCUS: Official Resignation of a Red Sox Fan
Issue #13
Drunken Madden Ruins Sideline Interview, ‘Wants To Kiss’ Favre.
D Misses Game, Renders Fence Useless
Raiders Cheerleader Tearfully Admits She ‘Mailed It In’ Last Six Games
BCS System Finally Scrapped, Replaced With Eddie Griffin
Rasheed Wallace’s Ancestor Returns From Dead, Beats Living Shit Out Of Him
US Gymnasts Prepare Selves, Stuffed Animal Collections for Athens
Red Sox Fail to Sign A-Rod, Local ‘Gay-Rod’ Sign-Makers Keep Jobs
TOP TEN LIST: Other Pete Rose Revelations
FANTASY SPORTS FOCUS: Yes, Joe Horn, I Can F#*king Hear You!
Issue #14
Brady Suspect In Disney Character Sexual Assault
Miracle Viewers Shocked By Non-Hollywood Ending
Stoned Viewer Has No Clue What ESPN Deportes Is Talking About
White Player Rejected By Black Card
Kurt Warner Breaks Up With Jesus
Non-Rad X-Gamer Ostracized By Rad X-Gamers
Pat Summit Swimsuit Calendar Not Selling Very Well
RAG READERS' POLL: What do Rag Readers think of the Yankees acquiring Rodriguez?
TOP TEN LIST: Things People Did Instead of Watching the NHL All-Star Game
FANTASY SPORTS FOCUS: The Bling Dynasty
Issue #15
FCC Demands More Family Broadcasting, Replaces Howard Stern With Shawn Kemp
FALCO Indicted In Steroid Scandal, Possible Clerical Error Blamed
Oh Shit, NCAA Selection Committee Totally Forgot To Call Bubble Team
Jayson Williams Reality Show Can’t Compete With Kobe Bryant Reality Show; Network To Alter Schedule
Terrell Owens Changes Mind, Now Wants To Play For 1981 San Diego Chargers
Fantasy Baseball Player’s Wife Very Suspicious of Extended Cruise Gift
Dream Job Winner Now Thinks Show Title A Bit Misleading
Athens Bolsters Olympic Security, Buys Golf Cart
RAG READERS' POLL: What Are the Least Interesting Scandals in Sports History?
TOP TEN LIST: Top Ten Things They’d Really Like To Do To Dick Vitale
Editor Ramblings: Greg Gumbel's Chia Head and Other Things That Have Been On My Mind
Issue #16
Bonds HR Ball Worth Swimming in Bay, Says Fan with New Case of Dysentery
Athlete Can’t Guess Own Name on ‘HearSay’
Mutombo Really Starting To Overuse Finger-Wag
Bird, Parcells Debate Whether Politically Correct Term is ‘Chinaman’ or ‘Chink’
Every Time Local Man Sees That Hot Asian Chick Playing Pool on ESPN2 He Wants to Bang Her
Unscheduled And1 Mix Tape Tour Stop in Affluent Suburb Raises Mansion Roofs
Bush Torn Between Which NBA Team He’d Least Want Visiting White House
Ray Lewis Caught Singing Totally Queer ‘Dollop of Daisy’ Jingle
Editor Ramblings: Bob Huggins DUI Video and Other Things I Can't Not Talk About
Issue #17
Clemens, Pettitte Get Early Jump on Halloween
Commercial ‘Short’ Celebrates Irish Bostonians Love of Red Sox, Raging Alcoholism
Kayda Family Embarrassed When Father, Al, Paged Over Stadium PA System
Tom Cruise Laughs Way Too Hard at Jamie Foxx Joke During ESPYs
ESPN Keeping ‘Dream Job’ Winner Away from Studio on Purpose
Today Show Ruins Olympic Committee Promise of Nia Vardalos-Free Games
NBC Operatives Torture, Brainwash Last Person Who Doesn’t Recognize Michael Phelps
Earnhardt Oddly Remembers Near-Fatal Crash As ‘Fiery and Hot,’ Not ‘Cool and Comfortable.’
RAG READERS' POLL: What were Rag Readers’ favorite ESPY moments?
TOP TEN LIST: The Top Ten Most Shocking Moments/Revelations of the 2005 Summer Olympics
Issue #18
Dave Burba Files for Free Agency! Red Sox also Win World Series
Kerry Can Stop Pretending to Like Red Sox Now
Even Garcia’s TiVo Now Thinks He’s Gay
Brand New Red Sox Fan Who ‘Can Now Die Happy’ Obligingly Stomped to Death, Tossed Under Subway Car
God Gives Kobe Bryant Power to Decide Who Lives, Who Dies
Red Sox Issue Restraining Order Against Ben Affleck
Jack Nicholson Breaks Hip, Collarbone Jumping Off Yankee Bandwagon
RAG READERS' POLL: Terrel Owens' Big Mouth
TOP TEN LIST: The Top 10 Other Major College Rivalries/Ceremonial Trophies
Editor Ramblings: Committed/Acme Fantasy Football Inc. Update...
Issue #19
Player With Ugly Wife Upset Karl Malone Never Hit on Her
Barry Pepper, Tom Sizemore, Michael Madsen Kicked Out Of Screen Actors’ Guild On Principle
Player Hits Free Throw to Tie Score at 17, Leaps Onto Scorer’s Table, Pounds Own Chest
Chris Berman's 'Whoop' Sound Effect Causes Aneurysms in Lab Rats
Bill James Not Getting Laid Nearly As Much As He Thought He Would
Majerus Resigns from USC, Reminds World He's Still Big As a Fucking House
Dying Boy's Last Wish To Be Punched By Ron Artest
FOX Forces Satire Sports Web Site To Include Story About 'House' For No Reason
RAG READERS' POLL: What sport stories do Rag Readers think flew under the radar in 2004?
TOP TEN LIST: The Top 10 Victor Conte Interview Revelations
Issue #20
The Other Kenny Rogers Really Trying Hard Not to Assault Anyone