Satire Sports Site Doesn’t Even Know Where to Begin with the Whole Sheryl Swoopes Thing

Boston, MA -- Employees of The Sports Rag, a mildly popular online satire sports Web site based here in Boston, reported Tuesday that despite countless attempts at writing a story involving newly-self-outed WNBA star Sheryl Swoopes, they were unable to decide on one particular direction.

“I mean, seriously, where would you even begin with this?” asked Sports Rag staff writer Bill Bensley. “We spent about two days tossing ideas around – inevitably, all of them were asinine jokes about the carpet in WNBA locker rooms, immature stuff like that – but we finally realized that this was just too easy, if that’s even possible.”

So, Bensley continued, instead of taking a head-on run at perhaps the single most exposed, vulnerable sports satire topic since "Mike Tyson tattooed all that weird shit all over his face or Lary Eustachy got caught all tanked-up and hitting on college chicks," they decided to just pass on the story entirely.

"Despite the mindboggling plethora of satirical possibilities here, we actually admired Swoopes for her decision, so we just bagged it," Bensley said. "Plus, we figured Terrell Owens would do or say something really, really stupid soon anyway, so we wouldn't exactly be short of material."