Rae Carruth To Win NFL Comeback Player of the Year

New York, NY – Inspired by New York Yankees’ first baseman/DH Jason Giambi having been named the 2005 American League Comeback Player of the Year, officials at NFL headquarters confirmed that former Carolina Panthers’ wide receiver and convicted murder conspirator Rae Carruth will win the NFL’s Comeback Player of the Year.

The award will be presented to Carruth in the year 2017, the first year he is eligible for parole.

While Carruth escaped a death sentence after a jury acquitted him of capital murder, he was found guilty of other charges stemming from the shooting of his pregnant girlfriend Cherica Adams (right) and received a minimum of 10 years in prison.

As such, the NFL says, he will clearly have a lot to come back from.

“We saw how Major League Baseball, and the writers that cover the game, defined a ‘comeback’ and figured if Giambi can win, why not Rae?” said NFL spokesperson Allan Peterson. “I mean, Giambi merely came back from abusing dangerous, illegal steroids, lying about said steroid use, cheating the fans, and doing his part to soil the integrity of the entire crumbling sport. But that’s nothing compared to the self-caused adversity that Rae will have to overcome.”

By the time he’s up for parole, Peterson explained, Carruth will have valiantly come back from trying have one of his many girlfriends [Adams] murdered after learning she was pregnant with yet another illegitimate child, fleeing police across state lines, and hiding in a car trunk, all so he didn’t have to pay child support.

“It’ll really be an inspiring tale of triumphing against the most insurmountable odds,” Peterson said. “People everywhere will look to Rae and say, ‘If I ever plot with a convicted felon and drug dealer to have my pregnant girlfriend killed, watch it all blow up in my face, run from police and FBI, get caught hiding in the trunk of a rented Dodge K Car parked at a ratty motel, and get sent to prison for twenty years, I, too, can overcome it.”

While Peterson did admit that the NFL was equally inspired by Giambi’s (right) courageous fight to survive the illegal steroid-fueled benign tumor in his pituitary gland, Carruth’s own self-induced struggles have been “far more difficult to overcome than [Giambi’s], so we feel that Rae should be rewarded for his own strength, courage, and perseverance through adverse conditions caused by his own far more selfish, immature choices and far more reckless lifestyle.”

Carruth’s 2001 trial lasted 27 days, after which he received a sentence of 18-24 years in a federal penitentiary on conspiracy to commit murder charges.

He will be released in 2017 at the earliest, at which time he will be lauded by the NFL and the sports media as a hero and role model for today’s youth.