Kayda Family Embarrassed When Father, Al, Paged Over Stadium PA System

Philadelphia, PA – Members of the Kayda family of Lower Merion report that they were "embarrassed and mortified" when their father, Al, was recently paged over the public address system at Citizens Bank Ballpark during a recent Philadelphia Phillies-New York Mets game.

"I totally wanted to crawl under my seat and die," confirmed thirteen-year-old Tiffany Kayda, rolling her eyes as she recounted the horrifying Al-paging incident. "Dad parked in a tow zone or something, the stupid jerk, so all of a sudden we hear all loud and stuff, ‘Would an Al Kayda please report to the security office!…Al Kayda, owner of an unmarked brown Ford Windstar minivan, please to the security office immediately!’"

Ms. Kayda then reported that, upon hearing ‘Al Kayda’ paged over the PA system, drunken fans in their section began making boisterous terrorism jokes, such as "Big shock, Al Kayda drives an unmarked minivan!", "Hope Al Kayda didn’t lose his wallet, too, cause it has his pilot’s license in it!", and "Wow, I hope Al Kayda doesn’t blow up the whole stadium and kill us all in the name of Allah!"

"Look, I like going to the Phillies’ games because there are, like, lots of boys there, okay?" Tiffany continued. "But if Dad is going to park in a loading zone and cause them to like totally yell ‘Al Kayda!’ over the speakers every time, I’ll just stay home from now on. I mean, I bet Lindsey Lohan never had to deal with her dad being called like the worst terrorist guy ever."

Sondra Kayda, Al’s wife of fifteen years, also acknowledged embarrassment during the latest paging incident, but says it’s become part of the territory after the tragic events of September 11.

"Is it the best name to have these days? No, probably not," said Mrs. Kayda, who has since legally changed back to her maiden name, Jablonsky. "You should see the looks we get when we go to Pizza Hut and they announce in front of everyone, ‘Kayda, Al Kayda, your stuffed-crust superoni and is ready!’"

"But hey, it could be worse," Mrs. Kayda added. "He could be named ‘Al Osama Bin Laden’, or ‘Al U.S. Men’s Olympic Basketball Team.’"