Johnson Delays Return From DL To Keep Hanging With Jim Breuer

Tempe, AZ – Sources with the Arizona Diamondbacks report that after disappearing for nearly five weeks, four-time CY Young Award winner Randy Johnson finally resurfaced and contacted the team – but only to ask if he could delay his return from the disabled list in order to spend more time with comedian Jim Breuer (right, with Johnson).

Johnson, who had been on the disabled list after undergoing arthroscopic knee surgery on May 1, made the request more than a month after filming a "Right Guard Xtreme Power Caps" commercial with Breuer, the former Saturday Night Live and Half Baked star.

It was during this time that Johnson’s agent, family, and team officials expressed grave concern over his whereabouts, but their worries were eased at 2:47 a.m. Tuesday morning when a giggling, slurring Johnson called Diamondbacks manager Bob Brenly.

"He said Breuer was helping him work out a hooch in his motion and he’d need a couple more weeks," Brenly said. "I asked him if he meant a ‘hitch’ in his motion, and he burst out laughing and said no, he meant ‘hooch,’ and then I heard some guy – Breuer, I assume – also burst out laughing in the background. And then there was some kind of watery, bubbling noise. They must have been in a hot tub."

Brenly added: "But honestly, I couldn’t hear Randy very well. Sounded like they had Dark Side of the Moon cranked up pretty loud."

The commercial, from advertising agency BBDO-New York, features Johnson playing a game of "Xtreme dodgeball" in a high school gym, with the pitcher bombarding a frightened group of sweaty basketball players with balls that represent the odor-fighting capsules found in "Right Guard Xtreme Power Caps," odor-fighting capsules that deliver stronger and longer protection.

It was during the filming that Johnson and Breuer struck up a friendship and began spending most of their time in Breuer’s trailer "getting wrecked," according to BBDO Executive Creative Director, Josh Blasingame.

"It was only a two-day shoot, forty-eight hours" said Blasingame, "and Johnson was stoned to the belt for like forty-seven of them. He just kept giggling during shots and flubbing his lines – which was odd, because he had no lines – and it took about 100 takes before he could hit even one of the dodgeball players with the ball. He’s a CY Young winner and he couldn’t hit some fat extra standing completely still."

"Fucking Breuer," Blasingame added, shaking his head. "I gotta stop using that guy. Did you know Damon Stoudamire didn’t even know what pot was until he did a Gillette Sensor ad with Breuer?"

When reached for comment, the still-giggling Johnson said something about Kellogg's Pop-Tarts® and then took a full three minutes to hang up the phone.

"Look," Brenly said later, "who wouldn’t want to spend time with Jim Breuer? I mean, that guy must be a hoot, what with all his ‘I’m-very-high-on-marijuana’ jokes. They just never get old. So I told Randy to come back when he’s ready. I’m sure he’ll be in tip-top physical condition."

To thank Brenly for understanding, Johnson sent the manager a special present.

"It was this really neat Yoda-themed flute of some sort," said Brenly. "I’m not sure how to play it, but it was very thoughtful because he knows I love Star Wars."

Right Guard Xtreme Power Caps come available in two fragrances – Adrenaline and Overdrive. Breuer himself also comes in two fragrances – Bong Resin and Jenga.