Bonus Top Ten List

Eight-time Major League All-Star Daryl Strawberry was recently released from Gainesville Correctional Institution after serving 11 months of an 18-month prison sentence for violating probation on cocaine possession charges.

What were the Top 10 Things Daryl Strawberry Learned While in Prison?

10. When walking your bitch to the showers make sure he's holding onto your inside-out pocket nice and tight, otherwise someone'll steal him.

9. Adebisi's secret to keeping that tiny little ski hat attached his head? Chewed gum and bobby pins.

8. While the first conjugal visit from Condoleeza Rice was everything he'd always dreamed of, that "butterflies-in-your-stomach" feeling faded pretty quickly.

7. You can save yourself a nasty shanking by simply being polite and friendly, even to the dirty, stinking Mexicans.

6. Long stretches in the Hole are a great way to reflect upon your life, and just how incredibly badly you’ve fucked it all up.

5. Telling your hilarious "giving Lenny Dykstra a hotfoot in the dugout" story is the best way to calm a claustrophobic, shiv-wielding cellmate.

4. Diamond-encrusted 1986 Mets World Series Champion rings can be exchanged for everything from cushy work detail to handjobs.

3. Letters "M" through "R" of the alphabet.

2. While sex with female fellow residents is frowned upon at drug treatment centers, bull-raping weaker men is practically encouraged in prison.

1. That it’s time to stay clean and walk the straight and narrow...right after he engulfs his head into this anthill-sized mound of pure, uncut blow.