Satire Sports Page Has No Funny Saddam Hussein Sports Stories

Boston, MA – Despite having almost two months to think of something clever, the Sports Rag, a satirical sports page calling itself "The Most Trusted Name in Fake Sports News," announced Tuesday that it has failed to come up with any funny ways to link Iraqi dictator Saddam Hussein (left) to sports.

"Yeah, we got nuthin’," said Sports Rag spokesperson Bill Jannetta. "We briefly toyed with a ‘Saddam and Bush settling their differences by playing nude beach volleyball in the Iraqi desert’ type-thing, but finally said screw it, let someone else do it."

Jannetta added: "Um, just between us, do you know of anyone hiring right now?"

Longtime readers were dismayed upon hearing the news.

"'Most trusted name' my ass," said Andrew Perelson, 35. "If they can't figure out a way to link Saddam to sports in a wacky way, I'm going elsewhere for my fake sports, thank you very much."