Fantasy Campers Narrowly Defeat Devil Rays Legends

Tampa, FL -- Attendees of a recent Tampa Bay Devil Rays Fantasy Baseball Camp, winners of a local promotional contest, just managed to defeat a team comprised of the team's all-time greats, sources reported Monday.

The final score was 26-3.

The game took place at the team's minor league complex in nearby St. Petersburg, and featured nine Devil Rays/Publix Supermarkets promotional contest winners against nine Devil Rays' legends, including Paul Wilder, Chris Anderson, Pablo Ortega, and Greg Blosser.

"I forgot I'd even done that, honestly," said fantasy camper/mobile phone salesman Kevin Alansky, 46, of the promotion, which involved dropping his business card into a fishbowl near the deli case at the South Howard Avenue Publix near his office. "If you want the truth, I thought it was to win one of those six-foot Italian subs. I mean, our company picnic was coming up."

A month later, Alansky said, he was both surprised and confused by the call he received from Devil Rays' Director of Community Relations, Eric Proulx, who informed him that he was one of nine grand prize winners who would get a chance to relive their childhood dreams by stepping onto the very same field as their favorite, all-century Devil Ray heroes from their childhood, or at least from as far back as 1996.

"My first thought was 'I'm twenty years older than most of the D'Rays legends,'" Alansky said of the unexpected camp invitation, which was for the following Saturday morning. "But then I figured 'What the hell.' I had to go to the Home Depot near the stadium that day anyway."

When Alansky and the eight other winners arrived on gameday, however, they were disappointed to see the turnout by the Devil Ray all-time greats.

"I was hoping maybe Wade Boggs, or at least [former first base coach] Billy Hatcher would be there," said camper and longtime D'Rays fan Josh Blasingame. "But it was a bunch of guys I'd never even heard of before. I mean, they trotted some guy named Mike Kelly out there like he was Willie-freakin'-Mays."

When told that Mike Kelly was the first-ever Major League player acquired via trade in D'Rays history, Blasingame shrugged. "They could have at least had Wilson Alvarez show up. Where's he now, working at a Taco Bell? He probably has the time."

According to Blasingame, when the campers saw the lineup of former D’Ray’s stars, they thought they might have a chance at making the game at least competitive.

"Three of us had played high school and even legion ball," he said. "No, we weren't in the greatest shape, some of us were hungover, and our centerfielder had a prosthetic leg, but as long as we were there, we figured we'd give it a shot."

After a six-hour marathon that featured 37 hits, 19 errors, and two visits from the EMTs who'd been hired for the event, the game ended in the 26-3 rout.

"It was sorta fun, I guess," said camper Stephanie Fekety, 37, an elementary school cafeteria worker who pitched eight innings of awkward, slow, underhand, no-hit ball, the only run coming when All-Century first baseman Paul Sorrento bunted for an inside the park home run. "But that asshole bunting to break up my no-no….that was bush league."

While the campers' reaction to the event was clearly mixed -- from disinterest, to agitation, to boredom, to outright grogginess -- Director of Community Relations Proulx said the promotion was a rousing success for all involved.

"Oh yes, we'll do this again. They [the campers] were absolutely beaming, unable to believe they were actually standing on the same field as their D'Ray's heroes of yore, like Dan Carlson and Rick Gorecki," Proulx said. "They all looked like little kids again, so innocent and full of the dreams that only Devil Ray baseball can inspire."

Proulx added: "It was such a hit, the [NHL's Tampa Bay] Lightning are even thinking of doing a similar promotion next winter. I hear they even have [former defenseman] Stan Drulia lined up to play."

Supermarket chain/sponsor of ultra-popular Devil Ray’s fantasy camp.

Rag-tag, scrappy fantasy camp squad during pre-game "get psyched" meal.

Devil Ray’s all-time legend, Billy Hatcher, who went 1-6 with four strikeouts.