Pittsburgh, PA – Relief pitchers for both the St. Louis Cardinals and the Pittsburgh Pirates jogged really slowly towards a bench-clearing brawl Sunday, fans at PNC Park reported.
The totally half-assed bullpen-to-infield stroll took place in the seventh inning of an increasingly heated game between the two central division teams in which Cardinals OF Jim Edmonds reacted angrily to a series of pitches from Pirates’ starter Josh Fogg.
"I guess Edmonds didn’t like Fogg pitching him inside, and he started yelling at [Pirates Manager Lloyd] McClendon in the dugout," said witness Aaron Dietz, 31, who was seated directly over the bullpens and had a clear view of the reaction to the on-field altercation. "When the guys on the infield started fighting, and both dugouts emptied, the relievers kind of looked at each other like ‘Do we have to go?’ After a minute or two, they finally sighed and stood up. They all just looked real bored, but also kind of irritated that they had actually had to move."
Dietz added: "Some of the guys didn’t even have their uniform pants on, so that took some time for them to work all those buckles and snaps and get dressed."
According to Dietz, as the pushing and shoving on the infield escalated, Pirates closer Mike Williams took a few last sips of his beer, crushed the can, tossed it into a nearby trashcan, burped, put his cap back on, stood up, yawned, stretched, cracked his knuckles, and eventually walked over to the bullpen gate where his fellow relievers were still watching the escalating tension on the field.
"I heard Williams ask [fellow Pirates pitcher] Brian Boehringer, ‘You going out there?,’" Dietz said. "Boehringer just shrugged and said, ‘I guess we sort of have to.’ Then Williams said, ‘It’s pretty goddamned far.’ And Boehringer just said, ‘Yup.’ Those guys were so not into joining the fray."
Dietz then said the two pitchers remained standing at the gate, picking sunflower seeds out of their teeth while the rest of their bullpen mates eventually got up the energy to leave.
When Edmonds, who walked, finally charged the mound and tackled Fogg, the brawl was officially on -- at which point, both bullpen gates slowly creaked open and the lackluster army of doughy, sleepy-looking relievers strolled en masse toward the infield, shaking their heads and rolling their eyes.
"It was just a heat-of-the-battle kind of thing, and it exploded," said Pirates’ OF Brian Giles, who, at the first sign of an altercation, sprinted in from left field and clotheslined unsuspecting Cardinals’ second baseman Fernando Vina, whom he believed was also about to charge Fogg. "Pretty soon there’s a big pile on the field, everyone’s throwing punches, guys are cold-cocking each other to defend the honor of their team, and those fat-asses in the ‘pen aren’t even across the outfield yet. Lazy sacks of shit."
When the relief pitchers finally arrived at the scene some minutes later, the brawl had ended, sixteen players and coaches had been ejected, or taken to the hospital, and the umpires had the situation well under control.
Still, just in case another fight broke out, the tardy security force of relief pitchers milled about on the infield with their hands in their back pockets. Some were bent over with their hands on their knees, regaining their breath from the fifty yard jog, while others pointed out shards of teeth or puddles of their teammates’ blood that littered the infield dirt.
"Everyone just take it easy now, just relax," Cardinals’ reliever Mike Timlin warned the remaining players through a mouthful of food, having just finished the last few bites of a foot-long hot dog he had carried onto the field with him. "It’s just a game fellas, no need for this kind of activity."
He then licked the remaining globs of mustard and relish off of his fingers.
Later, Cardinals reliever Steve Kline admitted that he definitely would have been ready to fight had another brawl broken out, but was honestly relieved that it didn’t come to that.
"Fighting goes against the true spirit of baseball," Kline said. "Plus, me and [reliever Jason] Isringhausen had a pretty good game of ‘Hangman’ going back in the ‘pen, so I’m glad the fight ended quickly and we could just get back to playing baseball."
"Or sitting on our asses scoping the stands for hot chicks to nail after the game, as the case may be," he added.
Two players who actually participated in brawl.