Former ballplayers like Jose Canseco and Ken Caminiti have recently claimed that anywhere from fifty to eighty-five percent of Major Leaguers regularly ‘stack’ or ‘cycle’ performance-enhancing steroids. What do Sports Rag readers think of the proliferation of steroid use in professional sports?

"That Russian boxer Ivan Drago who killed Apollo creed was on steroids. What? That wasn’t real? Oh, I meant to say ‘the Russian boxer who killed Apolo Anton Ohno." -- Mitch Z., Kansas City

"Jose’s just mad because he won’t make the Hall of Fame. And because his balls are now the size of a deer tick’s." -- Ariel T., Portsmouth, NH

"The East German women’s Olympic swimming team took steroids back in the early 80s and they all turned into snarling, hairy, musclebound men. Which reminds me: never get a mail order bride from East Germany." -- Louis J., San Pedro, CA

"They say steroids cause reduced sex drive. Hey, would I stay home all day fondling my plump new man-breasts if I had no sex drive?"-- Danny P., Skokie, IL

"I was in this roadside bar once, and this mild-mannered drifter turned all huge and green, ripped out of his clothes, beat up these bikers who’d been picking on him, and then crashed through the wall. That dude was definitely juicing." -- H. Pearson, Boston, MA

"Not all droids are bad. That little robot fella in Attack of the Clones who goes ‘bee bop boop beep’ was actually quite endearing." -- Larry, Austin, TX

"Friends tell me that without my rampant steroid use, I never would have been able to elude U.S. Marshals all these years. Personally, I think it’s all the clever disguises I’ve sewn out of real human skin." -- James B., Atlanta, GA

Ken Caminiti: Steroids caused him to bite through large hunks of wood,