Foxboro, MA – Danny Finneran, newly-hired assistant to New England Patriots salary cap guru Andy Wasynczuk, has been wearing a "Salary Cap" cap around the office, coworkers reported.

"I think he got it made at one of those embroidery kiosks over at Silver City Galleria," Wasynczuk said of the stiff, mesh-backed, adjustable cap that has the word "Salary" stitched across the front (picture right). "I know he’s just trying to make a good first impression but, well, it’s a 'salary' cap. Get it?"

Wasynczuk then rolled his eyes and walked away shaking his head.

Wasynchuk's secretary, Mary Davenport, said she's hinted to Finneran more than once that the cap, while being semi-amusing at first, has worn out its welcome after being worn for three straight weeks. "I even told him how much all the gals liked his hair, hoping he'd finally stop wearing it. No luck. And then he kept asking me out."

While salary cap gurus have grown increasingly essential to NFL franchises in this age of escalating salaries and complex contracts, Finneran's attempt to be a part of the team has gone way too far.

"Oh yeah...him," Head Coach Bill Belichick said of Finneran, whose not-so-humorous cap he first encountered during a tense, late night negotiating session with the agent of draft pick Daniel Graham. "The kid comes in with our pizzas wearing some sort of novelty-themed hat," Belichick said. "When nobody really commented on it, he starts pointing to it with both fingers, grinning like an idiot and going ‘Huh? Huh?’ as if we couldn’t read the damn thing. Maybe I was just tired, but I wanted to fucking slug him."

Finneran was fired the next day.

Reached at his new job at Arby’s, Finneran, a twenty-three-year-old Harvard Business School graduate, said "I thought it’d show my cleverishness."

He then finished mopping up some vomit in the handicapped stall.

A non-capped Finneran in happier times as a Patriots employee.

Arbys in nearby Walpole, where Finneran now wears bland, sloganless caps.