Poster in Online Forum Threatens To Cyber-Kick Other Poster’s Cyber-Ass

Shawnee Mission, KS – CrazyChief, a frequent poster at The Huddle.com, a top fantasy football website, threatened to travel halfway across the country and "kick your ignorent [sic], f-ing pu$$y @ss, little mouthy b*tch!," this according to the amused recipient of the cyber-threat, Chavez. "I’m reading this thread about the Lions draft, whether they take [Oregon QB Joey] Harrington or [Texas Cornerback Quentin] Jammer, and when I post that they’d definitely take Harrington this CrazyChief guy starts going ballistic, saying Harrington will be a bust, calling me an idiot, saying he’ll come ‘kick my fucking ass from here to kingdom come,’ talking all kinds of smack," said Chavez, known in the real world as Dan Najera, a 6’3", 265 lb. martial arts instructor and former Defensive End for the Arena Football League’s San Jose SaberCats.

Chavez added: "I told him I’d gladly pay for his flight."

When asked to comment on his cyber-outburst, CrazyChief, a.k.a. 5’4" 139 lb. Shawnee High sophomore Eric Flursky, reiterated that he’d "kick any f@ggot Huddler’s f-ing a$$ and then LOL when they beg for mercy," but was interrupted when his mother told him it was time for his oboe lesson. The Folsom, CA-based Huddle.com, whose popular NFL forum boasts over 2,000 registered members worldwide, occasionally sees tempers flare, according to Co-Founder David Whitney. "When you combine testosterone with a keyboard, football, beer or glue, and a less-than-desirable I.Q., things can get pretty heated."

Guy Blames Injuries, Not Draft, For Unsuccessful Season

Detroit, MI – Fantasy football General Manager Ted Blyer blamed untimely injuries to key players – and not questionable drafting skills -- for his team’s poor 2001 showing. "I took a big risk on [Jaguars RB Fred] Taylor first overall, because I play balls-out. That’s just the kind of guy I am. But then he gets hurt, which blew me away because he’s a fucking iron-man. Then my other studs get hurt, too. If they all stay off IR, I would have won the Super Bowl no problem like I did the last four years."

League members, however, disagreed with his frank analysis. "Ted said that?" asked baffled fellow Motor City Assassin League GM Phil Choate. "Bet he forgot to tell you that he’s such a Lions and UM homer that after Taylor he took [Panther’s RB Tim] Biakabutuka, [Lions QB Charlie] Batch and [Bears rookie WR David] Terrell, passing on Curtis Martin, Jeff Garcia and Marvin Harrison. He was screwed with or without Fragile Fred going down."

Choate then recounted various past boneheaded draft-day decisions, or "Blyers" as they’re now known in his league. "Oh, get this -- last year he picked [Lions WR Germane] Crowell first overall," he said, laughing and shaking his head in utter disbelief. "We all just about shit our pants!"

Choate added that Blyer has never once made the playoffs in eight years of league membership, let alone won a Super Bowl, the fucking liar.

Top: Cyber-aggressor Eric "CrazyChief" Flursky. Bottom: Flursky’s cyber-victim, Arena League DE and 3rd degree black belt Dan "Chavez" Najera.