Bob Baffert Disassembled, Put Back Into Storage Until Next Derby

Louisville, KY – Three-time Kentucky Derby-winning Trainer Bob Baffert was broken down and put back into storage for the next 365 days, Churchill Downs sources reported Saturday.

Baffert, 52, the sunglasses-wearing, white-haired, perennial star of Derby Day television coverage, who scored his third Kentucky Derby victory when War Emblem pulled away in the final furlong to win by four lengths at 20-1, was systematically disassembled and boxed up by a crack staff of technicians just minutes after the race.

"Right after he got his picture taken with War Emblem, the trophy and the Prince [owner Saudi Prince Ahmed Salman], the technicians were on him like a NASCAR pit crew," said NBC’s Tom Durkin. "The whole thing was over in a few seconds. We at NBC hope Bob has a good hibernation or sabbatical or whatever you call it when you’re an automaton and get put back into storage for a year."

Durkin went on to say that after being disassembled with those auto mechanics drills that go ‘zzzzm-zzzzm’ and being thoroughly cleaned and WD-40’d, Baffert’s mechanical head, torso, arms and legs were casually bubble-wrapped, covered with Styrofoam peanuts and nailed into tiny wooden crates stenciled "Baffert Body Parts."

However, when it came time to pack Mr. Baffert’s famous white hair -- which has earned him the nickname "The Silver Fox" and is insured by Lloyd’s of London for more than $50,000,000 -- the crew exercised a great deal of caution. First, the gorgeous mane was painstakingly removed with sterilized 4-3/4" tissue forceps by two technicians wearing biohazard suits. It was then vacuum-sealed into a CryoPack® bag and placed in a titanium, velcro-lined cryogenic container filled with liquid nitrogen. Baffert’s frozen hair will remain monitored by a complex computer system and 24-hour security patrol until the 2003 Derby, when it will be removed, thawed and ceremoniously re-attached for another four hours of television camera time.

Baffert (bottom left) giving double thumbs-up prior to his disassembly.

Cryogenic experts supervise the crucial hair-freezing step of the De-Baffertization Process.