Orlando, FL – Orlando Magic backup Guard/Forward Jud Buechler complained Friday about not having a cool basketball nickname.

"Tracy McGrady is ‘T-Mac,’ Darrell Armstrong is ‘DA.’ Even [fellow caucasian forward Mike] Miller has a nickname, ‘Miller Time’. And what do I get? ‘Jud'... just ‘Jud.’"

Buechler then sighed heavily, hung his head low against his chest and continued listlessly wheeling the laundry bin around the locker room collecting his teammates’ soiled practice uniforms.

Because we at The Sports Rag always strive to provide more fake sports news than you expect and perhaps deserve, here is this week’s Rag Bonus List, inspired by the sad tale you just read about Orlando Magic Forward Jud Buechler:

Sports Rag Top 10 Nicknames For White NBA players
10. Hey you
9. Honkey
8. Ball Boy
7. Jud
6. Powder
5. Who?
4. Punk-Ass Bitch
3. That Woody dude from "White Men Can’t Jump"
2. Token
1. Ostertag

Jud "Jud" Buechler